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I stare at the tablecloth decorated with orange juice, peas, crayon and roast lamb, and try to work out at what stage of proceedings someone slipped LSD into my water. This is no mean feat at six months' pregnant. In fact, it's not so much running Curious Nambucca Heads for any lady a cross between galloping and waddling: I stagger after her, and there, in the main hall, at the business end of a bowling mat, is our son, who has decamped from beneath table 23 and is standing over a set of bowls as the eyes of about old-aged pensioners bore into him.
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